Sometimes when I sit at my lap top I get so lost in the world of the internet. I want to write my pages and finish them and get them posted or published, and then hours later I find I haven’t completed anything, yet I have managed to find lots of data that I want to write about.
At this busy time of the year I am trying to complete some of my Christmas pages, and get them out of the way. In between writing I go to work. I also spend time with my parents, my daughter and granddaughter. Sometimes I don’t know where the time goes.
Yes I am busy. However I think I do procrastinate a lot. I could knuckle down and complete some of my work, then I could have some time to myself so that I can sit down and finish reading a few books. I find that when I am not at the keyboard writing, it is all I can think about, writing!
I see a hotel or restaurant while I am out and about, and I want to write about it. I cannot wait to get home to write. This week saw me on the road, driving my sick sister home to Wodonga, Victoria. My mum and I drove her home on Monday night after I finished work. It is a drive of about 4 and a half hours, longer if you add in toilet breaks. We stayed at Wodonga overnight, and then had to head back to Geelong on Tuesday morning, as I was working in Geelong on Tuesday afternoon.
I could not sleep at my sister’s house when we got there. I was tired but my mind wouldn’t let me sleep. I tossed and turned and didn’t really have a good sleep. We were up at 6.30, had coffee and breakfast, and left Wodonga at 8.10 am. We got back to Geelong at about 1.00pm. We made good time. I dropped mum off at her house, had a coffee and headed home for a shower. I headed in to work at about 2.30 to start work at 3.15pm until 9.30pm. At about 8.00pm, at work, I hit the brick wall (not literally) and I became so tired and couldn’t stop yawning. I went home and had a really good sleep.
Now I’ve lost my train of thought there. Oh that’s right! Whenever I drive, as on my long trip to Wodonga, or when I am at work, or when I am out and about with family and friends, all I can think about is going home to write. It nags at the edge of my mind. “I could be home writing.” “That page could be completed by now.” Oh it does drive me crazy.
Is it an obsession? A bad habit? A good habit? All I know is, it plays on my mind constantly and even when I have written two or three pages worth of information, there is so much more information, inside my head, trying to escape, demanding to get out, wanting to be written down, written about.
Oh it is so hard to live a normal life with all those voices inside my head. Sometimes I feel like there are 2 people inside me. The writer and Cassie. The writer takes up so much of my waking thoughts that sometimes it is hard to focus on what people are saying to me. It’s like “be quiet, you writer, wait til I get home, just let me get through the day and then I will go home and do some more writing okay.”
I’m okay. I don’t have a split personality or anything like that. I just have this really noisy alter-ego inside my head who annoys me while I am trying to live my normal life. Does anybody else have that nagging voice inside their head?